That’s what my wife’s friend called what my wife is going through. Other terms like ‘dead inside’ and ‘feels like crawling out of her skin’. I’m not arguing this. She is.
So now what? I don’t know. Part of me is angry because I want to treat her like she treated me when I was depressed, telling me things like ‘suck it up’ and ‘it’s all in your head’. But I don’t really want to do that to her.
Part of me doesn’t think it can be that bad. Her friend says she’s not suicidal. So, where was everyone when I wanted to drive my car off a cliff twice in December. Or that night I stared at the medication bottles which would to most, best damage. I’m a little jealous that she has support and I didn’t/don’t. She is going to get through this depression of hers quickly and I’m still going to be dealing with it. It feels like a phase for her and it’s a plague to me.
She still will never know what it’s like to be me. Until you completely rely on Jesus to get you home when your body wants to steer your car. I have the same panic attacks she does. She will try to tell me she relates to me, but she doesn’t to the same degree.
Whatever, I don’t matter. I don’t have feelings. So, I’ll be supportive of her because no one should suffer this. The sooner I can get her out of it, the better for her.