I finding it very hard to relax and rest. I’m not talking about sleeping, I’m talking about constantly needing to do something… productive. We are so busy at work that I feel guilty taking a break, even after I get home for the day. Since our church is without pastoral leadership right now, I’m finding myself to be the guy who is constantly filling in the gaps or realizing the ball is getting dropped somewhere. At home, there is laundry, dishes, unfinished projects, yard to mow, and that list goes on and on. And then there is just personal development, professionally and spiritually, that needs to be tended to. Let’s not forget about relationships that need to be maintained; a wife, kids, friends, family, ECT.
These are all reasons I can’t relax. Even writing this causes me guilt because I could use this time to do something or accomplish something.
I have a problem. I’m not really sure how to slow down. I can’t stop and smell the roses. I’m constantly thinking about the next thing or things. Something I struggle with is that relaxing makes me feel lazy.
I’m praying. I’m asking for peace in my soul. I’m asking for calmness and serenity. Please lead to you and to a place of no anxiety. I know I have to give up control and let you lead the way, yet I am scared. I must have faith. My heart is restless, my mind won’t turn off. God, I am seeing that I need to live in the present time, not in last week or next week. God, I pray that I am able to see your glory in all things this week. Lord Jesus, you are awesome and it is you that I need to keep my eye on, not the material things of this world.