What Scares Me

You know what scares me about giving physical intimacy in our marriage to God? There are a couple of things.

  • 1. I am scared that I doubt and lose faith, making this whole surrender unfruitful.
  • 2. I am scared to find out that Anna really doesn’t love me in that way. Or doesn’t care how I feel at all.
  • 3. I am scared that I won’t find peace.
  • 4. I am scared that 6 months will go by without her even making love to me once.

Some encouraging things

  • 1. I am not doing this alone, as my friend, Josh, is there with me doing this fast as well.
  • 2. I am realizing that my duty is to love no matter what, and it is coming easier than it has in the past.

2 thoughts on “What Scares Me

  1. God doesn’t punish you for falling off the horse. Giving it to god is like mindfulness meditation- if you find yourself making the grocery list when you’re supposed to be meditating, you don’t roll up your mat and namaste ten minutes early, you forgive yourself and start again. Silly boy. Gods not looking for perfection that’s why he gave us choice. If he wanted perfect he never would have instilled us with agency.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for this perspective. You’re right on

      Like

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