My Made-Up Hard Life

Raw thoughts as I navigate my life with depression


I have been avoiding my feelings like the plague. Which is probably why I have avoided my blog for a while. I still don’t really want to talk about my … Continue reading

July 11, 2017 · Leave a comment

My Birthday Budweiser

Happy Birthday to me. Finally.

May 25, 2017 · Leave a comment


Today is my birthday. I don’t care. It’s just another day.  I tell myself this to try and not get my hopes up. I hide my birthday on Facebook so … Continue reading

May 25, 2017 · Leave a comment

The Advice They Give

This week, I was\am clearly struggling. I told my wife and my two best friends. My wife and one of my friends (in separate conversations) started naming all the good … Continue reading

May 19, 2017 · 1 Comment

Chris Cornell

The last time I was majorly depressed, Robin Williams killed himself. This time it was Chris Cornell. Kind of eery. I love Soundgarden, Temple of the Dog, and Audioslave.  ~James

May 18, 2017 · 1 Comment

I broke

I broke this morning. I had about 20 minutes before I had to leave for work. I was sitting in my laundry room where my clothes hang up and just … Continue reading

May 16, 2017 · 1 Comment

Mother’s Day

I would say I pulled off a decent Mother’s Day. We went to church, bought flowers to plant, installed a patio shade, rode our bikes up to get ice cream, … Continue reading

May 15, 2017 · 1 Comment

How do I tell you?

How do I tell you that I want to die? How do I tell you that your love isn’t enough to make me want to live? How do I tell … Continue reading

May 13, 2017 · 3 Comments

Driving off the edge

Driving in the back country to my next job, going to go test and inspect a fire alarm system for a neighboring city’s courthouse. There’s a large revine on the … Continue reading

May 11, 2017 · 3 Comments

Just face it

I am not good enough. I am not special. I am quite unimportant. I hate myself, I want to disappear. So why do I even get my hopes up, it’s … Continue reading

May 11, 2017 · 1 Comment

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